Gotta Catch Up

Schools been keeping me really busy. Well that and my ex gf/my best friend. :) I love her. There is this horrid commercial running on tv right now about what they do when they shot bears. Apparently they shot them in the body to wound them and let them suffer until they die. HOW HORRID IS THAT?! I think its barbaric. They should be shot and just left like that. Horrible people. Jesus. I think we should let bears run rampant. Then they can come out and eat us all. Its better then us just killing eachother off. Right?! Alright anyways. After Im done this Im going to go noting again. Only one person notes me back. And he hasnt in a while. You people tend to suck.
I havent had the chance to update lately. Not between going to school mad crazy, with HORRID amounts of homework. And taking quite a bit of time to spend with my best. Her and I are getting closer. Its very cute. lol. Here I go with the pussy bit. ::kills self:: Apparently we have a party to go to tomorrow. I cant wait. Should be rad. My ex still hasnt backed off. Even after that little noting stunt. She called a million times and apologized. Well she calls a million times everyday. I really hate her. I only talk to her because I know she has no other friends. But I havent hung out with her lately. That is a good thing. Longs I talk to her. Then she will feel like she has a friend. Dammit. Of course its pissing my best off. I cant blame her. I dont want to deal with her, why would my friend?
Oh well. At least her and I are doing good :) Im really NOT sure where it is going to end up. But thats ok. Ill just go with the flow of it all.
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Why Does It Have To Be Weird?

Alright so we did it. As I wrote in here before. But now it just seems weird. Its like she has things to say, she just doesnt say it. I want it to happen again. Not right now obviously. But again. I dont want to do it to much, like our problem was before. But I do want to do it. If it can work. If we can be friends and have sex, I think it will be good. I hope she feels the same.
This weekend sucks lol. I have no one to hang with. My Best and I want to hang, its just been slightly akward. Or however you spell it. Its just been plan out fucking weird. Someone tell me where to go from here?
My ex is bothering me. You would think from the way Ive talked about her in here, and I KNOW she reads this, she wouldnt want anything to do with me. But no, thats not the case. She keeps having these dramatic situations come up that calls my attention. She called me the other night telling me she had swallowed these pills or whatever. Well she came to my house and stayed. Of course that didnt go over well with my Best. She was a little pissed. I think she fears Im cuddling her and giving her love and things like that. But I dont cuddle her. I dont plan on having sex with her, and a relationship with others. She is my best, and I love her too. Maybe I should cuddle her and things. Not just use her for sex. (Note to readers, Im NOT using her. But Im aware thats how it could appear.) I should try it. Either way, my ex demands a lot of my attention. I should just cut that bitch lose.
Im tired. Holy crap. Night!
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If Only For A Little While

Alright... I talked to her. >.< It was a relativly embarassing conversationg. She wants to have sex. I want to have sex. So I guess that means we've had sex?! lol. It was nice. Its been I believe, 3-4 months since weve had sex. So this was nice. But I want write to much about it lol. I love my best friend. I dont want to date her, not right now anyways... give me several months. And she doesnt want to date me. I dont know if she means ever, or right now. It doesnt matter.
My grandmas birthday celebration went well. It was nice watching her face light up and such. I felt all good inside for doing something nice for her lol.
We have monday off from school which will be nice, because I need it off. School is so stressful. I swear I bitch like a female. Must be all the females Ive grown up with. My mom, my aunt, my grandmother. My dad died when I was really little, its sad I know, but I cant miss someone I never knew you know? But life has definatly been different being raised by females.
Im tired, so Im going to go. I have a long day tomorrow. Shit. :-p
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Been A Little While

I havent wrote in a while. Been real busy. My Best friend(Tiff who is also my ex) is giving me fits. I find her attractive, and I want to have sex with her. I just am not sure if thats what she wants. How do I go about finding out? I dont want to date her. Not right now. I know that she knows that. I just want to have sex with her. Shes cool shit. Ive loved hanging with her but I havent had to much time to hang out lately. But when we do its really nice. Ive been looking for someone like her, happy, and sweet, and giving all in one. But I still dont want to date her right now. I dont want to have the whole "friends with benefits" either. I just want to be friends, and maybe, occasionally have sex. I dont think there would be anything wrong with that. Weve been friends for almost 6 years. I think. Dont know exactly how long. But I dont think it would mess anything up. My ex has been stalking me. Shauna needs to get a life. Im going to change my number lol.
Ive been busy with my family. We are getting ready to have a big party for my grandmother. She is going to be 80. Lucky her. LOL, Ill fucking pass thanks. I dont want to turn 80. Please let me die before then. Shes a great woman for all the shit shes been through. Shes had a hard life. Believe it or not, shes even had a drug and alcohol problem. Can you imagine? Most people that age dont deal with those things. Shes had an amazing life. A husband found and lost during the same war. Still to this day she wears her wedding ring. A strong woman. If I loved someone as much as she did him, Im not sure I could survive. She told me part of the reason suicide wasnt an option for her is because it was so frowned on. Im glad she didnt. I need her. lol :)
No one has been noting me. I note all these people, and they all just leave me hanging. What the hell?!
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